You know that feeling you can't quite name?
The exhaustion that lives so deep you’ve forgotten what not-tired feels like. The low hum of anxiety that’s just always there now. The resentment you feel and immediately feel guilty about.
The loneliness of being surrounded by people who love you and still feeling completely alone.
You’re doing everything right. And something still feels off. And you can’t explain it to anyone -- because you can’t explain it to yourself. You push the feeling down because there isn’t time to deal with it right now.
- You push the feeling down because there isn’t time to deal with it right now.
- You feel guilty for struggling when you have so much to be grateful for
- You wonder if everyone else has figured something out that you haven’t
- You’re holding it together on the outside and falling apart on the inside
- You’re so tired of pretending you’re fine
You’re not broken. You’re not behind. It’s just hard right now. And you deserve a place to actually say that.
5 Sections. Each one meets you where you are
Work through them in order, at whatever pace feels right. The recommendation: give each section time to breathe -- one at a time, with real space in between. Ideally spread out each section over a few days or a full week.
Name What You’re Actually Carrying
Not the to-do list. The stuff underneath it.
The Emotions You’re Not Allowed to Have
The anger, the resentment, the quiet rage -- permission for them to exist.
What Do You Actually Want
Not what you should want. What you actually want.
The Rest That Never Comes
“I yearn for simplicity but I willingly create complexity.”
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Today
Hold everything that surfaced and carry something true forward.
Hi, I'm Nikki P.
A former therapist turned storyteller and host of It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle, a top 5% podcast globally.
I built this show -- and this workbook -- because I was drowning in the messy middle myself. Holding too many contradictory feelings at once. Paralyzed by decisions. Exhausted by everyone telling me to just choose or let go or move on.
But I couldn’t. Because both things were true.
So I built this for the version of me who needed it. And for the thousands of people still searching for permission to stay in the messy middle without fixing themselves. This workbook is what I wish someone had handed me. I am using myself as the template -- every section is something I have lived through and haven’t fully figured out. This isn’t a system. It’s a place to be honest.
Find me @itsbothpodcast
Inside the workbook
Here's everything you get
- Five sections, each with a short 2–3 minute prompt and a longer prompt
- A “Before You Move On” practice at the end of every section
- A “Sit With This” moment at the end of every section — 30 seconds, eyes closed
- An emotion wheel companion reference throughout
- Five private companion meditations, recorded by Nikki, delivered exclusively to workbook owners
- Instant PDF download
You showed up for yourself by reading this far. That matters.
Now give yourself the space to actually say the things you’ve been pushing down.
FAQs
Is this just a PDF?
Yes — a fillable digital PDF. It’s yours the second you purchase. Fill it on screen or print it and write by hand. Whatever works for you.
How long does this take?
Whatever pace feels right — but here's my recommendation: one section per week, five weeks total. Give each section real room to breathe. Sit with what comes up before you move on. This isn't something to rush through in one sitting — it's something to live in for a little while.
What are the companion meditations?
One for each section — recorded by me, private, and delivered only to workbook owners. They're not on the podcast and they're not public anywhere. Each one runs about 15–20 minutes and is designed to help you actually land after a section instead of closing the workbook and immediately jumping back into your day. Think of them as the exhale after the work.
Is this therapy?
No — and I want to be clear about that. This is a workbook. It's a place to be honest, name what's happening, and give yourself permission to feel it. If you're already in therapy, this works beautifully alongside it. And if you're not in therapy but have been thinking about it — I'd always recommend finding a good therapist. This is not a replacement for that. It's something different, and it knows its place.
Can I share this with a friend?
This is licensed for personal use. If a friend needs it, send them the link so they can get their
own copy.
Do you offer refunds?
Because this is a digital product that's delivered instantly, I don't offer refunds once the file has been downloaded. That said — if something goes wrong on the technical side, a broken link, a file that won't open, anything like that — reach out to itsbothpodcast@gmail.com and we will make it right.